I hurt my lower back last week, so I was looking for some stretches to help it.  I came across the above picture in a series of yoga stretches.  What?  Why is this person doing this in a shower?  Why is there a photo of it?  I am so confused.

I hurt my lower back last week, so I was looking for some stretches to help it.  I came across the above picture in a series of yoga stretches.  What?  Why is this person doing this in a shower?  Why is there a photo of it?  I am so confused.

Things parents say

Last weekend my parents gave me a check to go towards my house purchase, and as previously mentioned, I am very grateful.

As my mom was writing the check, she suddenly said “we wondered if we should give you money to freeze your eggs.”

Hahahahaha - whaaaat??

After shock registered on my face, she then backpedaled to say how they knew someone who’s daughter was 21 & was going to go through chemo, so they discussed freezing her eggs before then. Then she tried to laugh it off.

Um, yeah, okay, thanks Mom. I’m 34 and no babies yet - are you worried?  So that was awkward.  I was (and still am) speechless.

shesagoodegg:

Nothing says happy holidays like awkward family photos.  I will never tire of the bizarre ideas humanity chooses to document and share with their friends & family. 
The above one is probably my favorite of this set of 15. It’s just so confusing to me - does this man have two wives?  Or two moms?  Where do you even get his & her sweatshirts (notice his doesn’t have the cute embroidery)?  And do people still wear turtlenecks?

Reblogging myself because my friend Heather just posted this on Facebook.  Heather & her family saw this family IN REAL LIFE getting this photo taken at (where else?) the J.C. Penney’s in Dayton, Ohio.  I knew this was midwestern.  Heather & her fam all immediately thought “awkward family photo” and here it is. On the internets.  Amazing.  The world is so small.
Oh, and Heather thinks the lady on the right is the mom of these two.  I don’t know about your family, but I would be creeped out if my brother touched me like that. 

shesagoodegg:

Nothing says happy holidays like awkward family photos.  I will never tire of the bizarre ideas humanity chooses to document and share with their friends & family. 

The above one is probably my favorite of this set of 15. It’s just so confusing to me - does this man have two wives?  Or two moms?  Where do you even get his & her sweatshirts (notice his doesn’t have the cute embroidery)?  And do people still wear turtlenecks?

Reblogging myself because my friend Heather just posted this on Facebook.  Heather & her family saw this family IN REAL LIFE getting this photo taken at (where else?) the J.C. Penney’s in Dayton, Ohio.  I knew this was midwestern.  Heather & her fam all immediately thought “awkward family photo” and here it is. On the internets.  Amazing.  The world is so small.

Oh, and Heather thinks the lady on the right is the mom of these two.  I don’t know about your family, but I would be creeped out if my brother touched me like that. 

Nothing says happy holidays like awkward family photos.  I will never tire of the bizarre ideas humanity chooses to document and share with their friends & family. 
The above one is probably my favorite of this set of 15. It’s just so confusing to me - does this man have two wives?  Or two moms?  Where do you even get his & her sweatshirts (notice his doesn’t have the cute embroidery)?  And do people still wear turtlenecks?

Nothing says happy holidays like awkward family photos.  I will never tire of the bizarre ideas humanity chooses to document and share with their friends & family. 

The above one is probably my favorite of this set of 15. It’s just so confusing to me - does this man have two wives?  Or two moms?  Where do you even get his & her sweatshirts (notice his doesn’t have the cute embroidery)?  And do people still wear turtlenecks?

That awkward moment when…

As you and your boyfriend are buying chocolate chip cookies at the coffee shop, the counter lady asks when you are due.

What? Why do people still do this? 

And really, don’t do this when you sell baked goods for a living.  Just wrong.  I’m firmly under 150 pounds & do exercise regularly, so I really shouldn’t be mistaken for being knocked up.

She claimed it was because my shirt was puffed out (and I was wearing one of those wrap sweaters that have a clasp that sometimes preggo ladies wear as it sits above their bump). Whatevs.  Not a bump, lady!

This is the 2nd time this has happened to me.  A lady selling hazelnuts at the farmer’s market once told me the nuts would be good for me “since you’re pregnant.”  I was wearing an empire-waisted dress, but still.

I think I need to work on my posture, but these ladies need to work on their manners.  I’m feeling more sympathetic to all those celebs that get in the tabloids whenever they look like they have a bump, but it was really just a food baby. 

That awkward moment when…

you get Happy Birthday sung to you.

At work.

Twice.

Before 10:30am.

In front of bagels, so there are no candles to blow out. 

That song feels like the longest song in the world.  What are you supposed to do while everyone else sings?  I never know.  Smile?  You can’t really sing along. 

I shouldn’t complain as I got an asiago cheese bagel w/chive cream cheese & mango-pineapple juice out of the deal.  It was super sweet of my co-worker to surprise me with it. I was actually feeling a bit of the birthday blues, as I hate organizing birthday things for myself, and I have organized drinks out tomorrow night & maybe only 3 people can come for sure & everyone else is a maybe or not responding or booked.  I hate maybes; please just say no.  This is probably why I will never have a wedding. 

(p.s. the actual day is tomorrow which is also Veterans Day, so I am always guaranteed the day off for my birthday or a bonus 3-day weekend.  I like this a lot, and I would be sad if I got a job that did not recognize this holiday.)

Played 10 times

I love This American Life, in general, but I am really enjoying this episode from 10/28 focused on middle school.  I think nearly everyone alive can relate to this being one of the most difficult times in life. 

I remember this time being so confusing and awkward.  The first girl they interview (who suggested this episode idea) nails it so well when she talks about not wanting to wear a new sweater or shoes, as you “don’t want to stand out too much.”  People are your best friends one week and your enemies the next.  Your body is always sabotaging you somehow by being too skinny, blowing up with zits, or boobs that just aren’t quite right.  Your parents really don’t understand you.  And, there are  always those girls who seem to have it all figured out and always look beautiful and glamorous - well, as glamorous as you can look at 13. 

Act two about middle school dances is especially hilarious and poignant at the same time.  I love this kid who says he just hopes nothing embarrassing happens, nothing that will be talked about for weeks.  I remember going to my first dance in 6th grade, and I went with a bunch of girls.  We all wore the same outfit, basically - a colored t-shirt, denim skirt, and matching socks (it was in the gym, so we had to take off our shoes). Slow dancing was funny and awkward. 

I wish I could go back and visit that version of me to say it gets better.  That boy you think is adorable is kind of a loser and will never leave town after graduation.  Those girls will be knocked up by senior year - do you really want to model your life after them?  Please don’t wear that dress, those pants, that perm. You will find friends in high school who truly “get you”, who will still make you laugh when you’re 30.  You will have a cute, sweet boyfriend some day. 

All I can be really glad for is that the internet was basically nonexistent at this time and (knock on wood) very little digital records exist of this stage of my life. 

Edit:  I don’t think my audio player thing-y works, but if you want to listen to it, use the text link I inserted above. 

Smile Friday:  We are the World sang by high school kids in 1985 (backed up by the actual song & not always in tune/on time). Totally worth watching!

Enjoy the great hair and awkward singing! I love the chubby kid that is totally feeling it at about 2:48 and there’s one kid who is too cool for school in his shades/pastel Hawaiian shirt in the front row who refuses to sway with his classmates.  Oh, and are their headphones for real??

That’s what she said…

Today, my co-worker was looking at the lid of her drink with a puzzled look.  It said “That’s what she said” on the inside of the cap, and she was wondering why.  I had to explain (in a professional way, of course) what that meant during our staff meeting.